and when we create these, what happens to our relationships with our loved ones suffering with addiction?
As human beings, we require Connection for our survival, and when we look at Johann Hari’s quote “connection is the opposite of addiction” we start to realise how important it is that we maintain that loving connection with our loved one. This is not only healthy for us, but it is a healing medicine for addiction.
What are the ideal physiological conditions for connection?
A regulated nervous system
A felt sense of safety
When our body's nervous system is regulated, (relaxed, calm) our nervous system sends a message that we are safe to connect with and that we are open to connecting. The bonding chemical oxytocin is released in the brain which moves your brain out of the primitive survival mode and into the social engagement mode.
When your body feels safe, safety is reflected outward through body language, the tone of your voice and in your eyes which signals ease to others. Sharing the sense of safety which creates a felt sense of ease is co-regulation. You can help others feels at ease in your presence by practicing regulating your own nervous system, the ideal conditions for connection.
Your presence, your ability to connect and co-regulate is powerful healing medicine for you and your loved ones.
When we feel angry, frustrated, stressed, and dysregulated, our bodies go into survival mode (fight, flight, freeze and appease) our stress response system is triggered, releasing cortisol and adrenaline (amongst others) into our systems. This is damaging to our health and our connection/relationship with our loved ones.
To find out more about this and my family recovery programme, contact Lucy: lucy@familyrecovery.co.uk
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